Remember that time I got all artsy-fartsy on y’all?

It paid off! A few weeks ago I received an email from the nice people at Progressive Farmer Magazine (click the link and I’ll prove it to ya!) to let me know I was a Top 10 finalist in their photo contest.

This is the photograph that won. I’m still stunned.

Seriously. I really don’t know what I’m doing.

You might have noticed that I put up a link to my Etsy store today. Between placing in this contest and having (a few) requests to buy my photographs I decided to cave in and set up shop.

Not to get all Oscar-speechy, but I would like to thank everyone for encouraging me and boosting my confidence. Thanks to you guys, I won a very generous gift card to Tractor Supply. Psst… don’t tell my girls but they sell go-carts. Shhhhhhhhh.

Tomorrow (or the next day… or so) I plan to get back to farmin’ but today I’m letting Guy Clark take over here at The Cotton Wife.

Ain’t nothin’ in the world that I like better
Than bacon & lettuce & homegrown tomatoes
Up in the mornin’ out in the garden

Get you a ripe one don’t get a hard one
Plant `em in the spring eat `em in the summer
All winter with out `em’s a culinary bummer
I forget all about the sweatin’ & diggin’
Everytime I go out & pick me a big one

Homegrown tomatoes homegrown tomatoes
What’d life be without homegrown tomatoes
Only two things that money can’t buy
That’s true love & homegrown tomatoes

You can go out to eat & that’s for sure
But it’s nothin’ a homegrown tomato won’t cure
Put `em in a salad, put `em in a stew
You can make your very own tomato juice
Eat `em with eggs, eat `em with gravy
Eat `em with beans, pinto or navy
Put `em on the side put `em in the middle
Put a homegrown tomato on a hotcake griddle

If I’s to change this life I lead
I’d be Johnny Tomato Seed
`Cause I know what this country needs
Homegrown tomatoes in every yard you see
When I die don’t bury me
In a box in a cemetary
Out in the garden would be much better
I could be pushin’ up homegrown tomatoes

I feel so sorry for all of you unfortunate souls out there who are deprived of Duke’s Mayonnaise. I had no idea the problem was so widespread.

In an effort to make things right with the world, I am giving away a 32 oz. jar of Duke’s Mayonnaise to THREE lucky readers. All you have to do is post the name of your favorite recipe that uses mayo. That’s it! You don’t have to post the whole recipe but I’d love it if you did! Contest will end on Thursday, July 31st.  There’s no way I’ll be able to choose, so I’ll be picking the three names randomly.

Even though I’m not eligible (darn it!) I’ll kick things off. Actually this is not so much a recipe as it is a way to avoid looking like a piggie by eating plain tomatoes dipped in mayonnaise. And it’s also relieving my conscience since I was so mean to poor chicken legs the other day.

Start with a red, ripe tomato (more on these later in the week, from Guy Clark). And Duke’s. Don’t forget the Duke’s**.

Spread the mayo on two slices of bread. I’m using wheat bread because white bread makes me puff up like a marshmallow. If you are not afflicted with this unbecoming ailment, feel free to use white.

Place sliced tomatoes and grilled chicken thighs (Because dammitall they taste better than chicken breasts! There I said it. Now I’ll never get into the Junior League.)

You could add cheese too. Feel free.  Cheese would totally work here.

I cannot wait to read your submissions. Be forewarned – if you choose to only write in the name of your recipe I may aggravate the mess out of you until you give me the whole recipe.

**They aren’t paying me, I swear it. Although I did let them know I was writing about them and daggonit – the lady who answered my email is related to The Cotton Husband. What a small world!  I think they’re sending me coupons. Coupons are cool in lieu of being the new Duke’s spokesmodel. I guess. Sigh. I wouldn’t mind being a spokesmodel.